When the roar of hectic living and the competing pressures of disciple-making, organization-managing, computer-programming, child-raising and husbanding mute into a surreal silence, what will matter?
When I finally kneel before my Master, all the anxieties that consumed my mind will fade into a far distant second priority. What will matter on that day? I usually think of my work for Him — whether He will say “well done” and whether I will have faithfully made disciples.
But this morning, as I contemplated the silence and slow-motion of actually kneeling before Jesus, the words “will the Son of Man find faith on the earth” echoed in my mind and I saw from an entirely different perspective. What if He cares more about my love than my works? I fear that what He said of the Christians in the city of Ephesus rings true of me:
You don’t love me like you used to
As I’ve grown in experience and busyness, I’ve decreased in “child-like faith”. Often I’ve prayed into the air instead of pleading with someone and expecting Him to answer. Often I’ve taken burdens upon myself that I should’ve placed at His feet. Often I’ve sought understanding and effective ministry instead of seeking communion with Jesus.
Faith enables affections for our Master, because it is through the eyes of faith that we see Him. Peter makes the connection between love and faith:
You love Him, although you have not seen Him, and you believe in Him, although you do not now see him.
Faith is being sure about what we can’t see — including what our Master is like and the depth of His concern and devotion for me. Paul places a huge emphasis on this when he prays that the Ephesians would grasp how broad and long, and high and deep, is Jesus’ love.
The key to Christian living isn’t just increasing my love for Him. This kind of thinking (which I’m accustomed to) leads to self-reliance, pride and (ultimately) failure. The key is increasing faith in His love for me, His power in me and in my own weakness, which works itself out in “walking in the Spirit”: submitting to the Holy Spirit’s leading and convictions, minute-by-minute and day-by-day.
But perhaps it’s more than that. Perhaps it’s more than continual prayer for strength and leading, perhaps it’s more than continual reliance on Him. Perhaps a big part of the issue is to have Christ-centered prayer rather than life-centered prayer. What would it look like if you and I were consumed with Jesus instead of consumed with our lives?
